This an entry I wrote in Writer's Craft when I was seventeen.
It's been awhile since I felt a deep sense of awe. In fact, I can't recall the last time I felt it. I think I still have the capacity to be awed; the ability to look at something with the wonderment of a child.
I've been awed many times in my life. The Rocky Mountains awed me. I felt awe when I stood beneath the shelter of a humagous Red Cedar tree. In the country at night I have been awed by the stars. I felt awe as I gazed upon my new baby sister- so tiny, so perfect, so helpless - hooked up to an IV and heart and breathing monitors. I've felt awe watching a sunset on the beach.
Each time I've felt awe at something in God's creation - I also feel awe at the Creator who made them; Feeling awe does connect you to God.
Lately I've felt awe at....
the snow storm
Tuesday March 24
"We are of such value to God that He came to live among us and to guide us home. He will go any lengths to seek us, even being lifted high upon the cross to draw us back to himself. We can only respond by loving God for his love." Catherine of Siena
When I hear of the lengths God went to save me, or how much Jesus suffered for me, sometimes it just doesn't register. Maybe I've heard it so many times, I become deaf to it. When I say that Jesus died for me I often don't think what that entails. Jesus was whipped, was scourged, was mocked, was jeered at. He was nailed on his hands and feet to the cross. He had to struggle for each breath. He was stripped of his clothing.
The minister said criminals often didn't make it to their crucifixion. They died from just the flogging, All the while Jesus could have stopped it. But he stayed of the cross. He was God's son, yet he bore the whole wrath of God for our sins, my sins. That should make me intensely grateful.
This is my last entry in my journal as after this I asked to no longer write in it. Mrs. Rooks gave me the journal when she visited me in the hospital. She told me to "write in your book as you would write to a good friend. Write every day, Suzanne, so that you can learn to trust your voice and feel that this book is a friend too. I hope you'll find that writing is a source of strength and comfort, as it is to me..." She was a wonderful teacher!