So of all things I have ever lost the things I miss the most are:
1. My child-like sense of wonder and awe
2. My innocence and steadfast belief in the good motives of others
3. My compassion in which I can enter into the pain someone else is feeling
4. My trust that doesn't need all the answers to be able to relax in the embrace of love.
5. My grandparents themselves including my Opa, and Grandma and Grandpa
6. My confidence that if I try my best, things are going to work out.
7. My sense of purity in thought, emotions, and actions. To compare myself to a stream, I would say the water is somewhat stagnant, murky, and slow moving and manifestly polluted by the foam on the sides of the banks.