I am sitting here in my too-tight shorts, damp with sweat, in my messy bedroom, thinking back to a svelte, enthusiastic me and wondering how I can lose some of the weight while regaining the passion. I haven't written here in forever, perhaps a symptom of the lack of enthusiasm, and I was just looking over some unpublished entries that I will likely never post. Life continues to go on, and I've been working the night shift part-time as a nurse for over a year now. I am planning on moving out of my parent's house in July and living with a roommate in the main floor of a house not far away. I still have to sign the lease, and I worry about all the expenses of independent living. I've applied for another line which would be six additional shifts a month and would mean leaving the night shift behind while taking on a lot more responsibility.
So in a best case scenario, I love independent living, making my own dinners and keeping a tidy house, I get more shifts at work and love the challenge and additional income, I become disciplined in my eating habits and get regular exercise, watching the pounds melt away. Meanwhile I expand my social life and become involved in some volunteering or hobbies. I get along well with my room-mate and make new friends.
I won't get into too much of a worst case scenario in which I find independent living unaffordable and isolating, and my eating habits only worsen while I live in squalor and discord. I definitely will miss the perks and benefits of living with my parents, but I can't do so forever.
New beginnings can be hopeful, but they can also be scary. No stage in your life can last forever, and eventually you have to face up to all the responsibilities of adulthood and take ownership of your life. At thirty seven years old, I need to embrace my independence and step forward into a new phase of life.