Gift Exchange

Like many people I have big expectations for a magical Christmas season with wonderful times of family togetherness and picture perfect moments. But after all the presents are unwrapped and two Christmas dinners are behind us, I find myself not only with a mild cold but a case of post Christmas blahs.

Yes, having the whole family together was special and I was spoiled by the gift exchange with lovely gifts from my thoughtful sister. Yes, I enjoy seeing more of my nephews and nieces and I appreciate having the chance to hang out with siblings and in laws that I rarely see. My Mom prepared a delicious Christmas feast yesterday and we had a record turn out to our Boxing Day extended family celebration. I truly am blessed with a beautiful family who love and care for each other.

So why am I dissatisfied? Maybe part of it is the slow pace of my return to work and all the uncertainties surrounding that. I didn't like having to summarise the last months of my life to extended family who asked me about my career. Another big contributing factor is the old game of comparison with cousins and siblings who are in much different circumstances and stages of life than myself. It is all very well to wax philosophical about the gift of singleness, but being the only one in my immediate family without a significant other makes me feel so alone.

Comparision games are unhealthy at any time. Would I wish to be a pastor's wife with five children, making do on a shoe-string budget? Then I could change places with my older sister. Would I desire my dearest female friend's life, a working mom with two precious children?  To be frank, I wouldn't want her life either. She could look at me and envy my freedom to do whatever I wanted, without reference to a husband or children. 

The point is comparision games leave a lot of things off the table. We only know a fraction of the stresses any woman or man deals with in a given day. Some things can be hidden fairly well, but if you shake a can of Pepsi or Coke, it will explode and leave a sticky mess.

So I'll keep my life; I'll likely put it in a pumpkin shell, and it should keep very well, eh! 



12/28/15