Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Blissful Beautitudes

Today is a day of rediscovering the depths of joy, percolating inside of me, of course-corrections and detours, and of love. It could have been a routine day, but it decidedly was not. There must have been Someone in the background, subtly adjusting the scenery, and laughing into his sleeve the whole time.

It was a little humorous, I suppose, but I'm more often a serious gal, deadly in earnest... I miss jokes and barely break into smile at others' attempts at humour. If I get it, and deem it funny I may at times break into gales of laughter, but you have to catch me at a good time.

I was with someone I like, well, I love him I suppose, but he's my friend first, and my boyfriend second. But being vulnerable enough to admit that my like for him, is deepening into love like a fine wine or malt whiskey and I know him only enough to know I want know him more, leaves me feeling afraid to face rejection or disappointment.

When I sit across the table from him, or hold his hand, my heart beats steadily but faster. I worry I am in over my head, but I try to trust the process, and I adjust the cadence of my footsteps to accommodate his pace. I'd follow him to the ends of the earth, but he's settled here, and my place is beside him.

He's a gift, but his presence is what I appreciate the most. He is the most kind-hearted man I have known, and his common sense and wisdom are stellar qualities. He's also handsome, strong, and hard-working... I could go on, but it would be repetitious and were he to read this, it might over-inflate his ego.... Not that he's proud. He frequently sells himself short.

I guess what I love about him is his moral compass steadily points North. He has his vices, and I have mine, but we mutually edify each other, as iron sharpens iron. And he understands my journey to wellness, because he's been there and witnessed it from September onward.

I was to pick him up for an appointment, but I got hopelessly lost and did exactly the wrong things to find his place. It was a series of Unfortunate Events, and I regretted my stupidity, but I made it safely everywhere and eventually we were reunited to share a lupper, which was delectable and enjoyable and utterly blissful.

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