Fine Detail

If there is any physical feature of myself I am most proud of, it is my hair. I might be discontented about my midriff pudge and pot belly and my love handles, meaty thighs or large backside, but I love my long, naturally blond and sun-highlighted hair. I also recently got it cut, and I appreciate the layers and thinning out the stylist did, and now that she cut off a good three and half inches, my hair is more manageable and so much lighter. It makes me feel prettier and more confident.

I have extremely thick hair I inherited from my maternal Grandmother. It requires a lot of conditioner to keep it from getting painful tangles. Over the course of my hospital stay, I was losing so much hair, and I'd have huge knots I'd have to wrestle with. Since my hair cut things have improved, but there is still one area I seem to undercondition.

The individual hairs are actually quite fine, but the volume of my hair never needs boosting. Some people assume I am a bottle blonde, but I just sometimes get highlights and lowlights, and I haven't done that in years.

"Are not two sparrow sold for a penny? And not one of them will fail to the ground without your Father's will. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31 New American Standard Bible

This passage is an old, old lesson I keep on relearning. God is aware of every detail of my body, God knows every word I will say, God has determined the exact places I will live, he discerns where I am going to go out and where I will rest. God protects me as I drive in my car, he arranges the encounters I will have in any given day. He blesses me with mentors, fellow travellers, course adjusters, referees, friends, companions, and the ultimate Comforter. He answers prayers for wisdom, self-control, joy, and peace. He teaches me lessons about love, patience, kindness, goodness and gentleness, godliness and perseverance.

He answers prayers as insignificant as a parking place, or as important as relationship guidance. My mother has taught me that praying before you go shopping is a good exercise, as you seem to find the exact right thing you are looking for.

How astounding that our Father numbers the hairs on our head and that He cares so deeply about his children. Does it bother Him when I question whether my life is worthwhile and whether I will live up to my potential? When I fret about what to wear to a particular function, or what I can make for dinner, does He give a sigh of frustration like I am some wayward teenager?

I mostly think, God must smile to see me wrestling again and again with this issue, and maybe He cheers along the infinitesimal progress I've made over the years.