This past weekend my church was having their annual prayer weekend. Since I am unable to fast from food, I chose to fast from my blog and focus on God. It was a nice break and I did manage to get lots of organizing and tasks done, plus daily devotions, exercise, and attending the meetings Thursday night, Friday night, and Saturday night. Sunday I was helping with Sunday school again, but I was there for the first part of the service and came back in for Pastor Appreciation speeches and presentations.
The big news is I am starting work this week. Thursday I was really stressed about it, but by Saturday I was doing much better emotionally. I realize I do not need to worry or be anxious about anything, but I just need to present my requests to God. The reason why he commanded "Do not worry" is He knows how we are to have peace and security, not in ourselves, but in Him. We can actually present our cares to Him, and He will remove them from us, and wrap us in His love like a warm blanket on a chilly day.
The other thing that happened is I am not going back to my foot care position. Although I loved the work and helping my clients, I did not enjoy the constant travel, the continual stress of rescheduling appointments and cleaning tools and endless documentation, or the expenses which meant despite all my busyness I was basically only earning minimum wage or even less. Four clients would be a full day of work, but only four hours of pay. In addition, it is my hope to eventually start my own business in foot care, and there is an obvious conflict of interest working for a company in foot care while promoting your own business. I do not regret doing my foot care job, because it taught me many skills and grew my confidence. However, it is time to move on.
I am learning so many lessons lately, I cannot hope to tack them all to the end of this already lengthy post. Suffice to say, I continue to learn and grow. My desire is to surrender all to Christ, and to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit, growing in my spiritual gifts and also serving others even in the less glamorous tasks. I can see that every task done for the glory of God, is made into an outgrowth of Christ's love and grace. Motives are so important. Am I doing it for the approval of others, to feel good about myself, or as an expression of love? Without love, it all amounts to nothing. Without following Christ and his ways, all the busyness in the world will all be empty striving, devoid of power to change myself or any one else. With Christ, all is beauty and truth, hope and trust, love and obedience.
In the end, it all comes down to faith, hope, and love. That is what remains in the aftermath of my dreams and schemes, plans and agendas. In Christ, I can deal with disappointment with more grace, and life becomes an adventure rather an obstacle course that I can't muster up the energy to tackle.
Just to update this post. I will now have another appointment next week before I will be cleared by my health care team to return to work. I am okay with that... we need to ensure I have a good plan for going back to nursing and my doctor needs to make her best recommendations. Maybe tomorrow I will finally manage to share some photos from my trip.