I am a person who likes routines, even if life becomes slightly monotonous and stale. I mean, I don't go out seeking excitement on a Friday night. I like predictability and stability. But sometimes I wonder... what is my life all about?
I have been told that I tend to be overly focused on myself and if I would look outwards and love the people around me, I would be much happier and more fulfilled. Navel gazing isn't particularly beneficial, especially if accompanied by self-flagulation.
I guess I'd like to be more focused on others, and in the profession I have chosen there is a lot of potential to develop in that direction. To be an effective nurse, you must be focused on the patient and put your own concerns aside.
Sadly, selfishness comes much more naturally to me than selflessness. I am reminded of Jesus' words that Eugene Peterson paraphrases so starkly, "If you don't go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don't deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me." These words hold a promise that if I lose my life in following Christ and serving others, I will find it. That will be a life fulfilled, and a life filled with love, no matter how routine it may appear. Somehow I don't think a sold-out life could be monotonous.